oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
MIDGETS
????
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
