: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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