we have pet lesbian snakes
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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