So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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