remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
