ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm too high and old for this...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize