Whod you bang
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I am naked and annoyed.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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