We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Randomize
