Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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