Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize