this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize