Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
