What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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