Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
