Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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