I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
