Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
