she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
