I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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