Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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