everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
