remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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