just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize