Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
