So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
