So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize