the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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