That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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