I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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