I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
