does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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