who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
