why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
