He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
