And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
