Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
