Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
