I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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