my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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