SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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