I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
