just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize