That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
