it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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