All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
