the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
