I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
