i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
