he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You were trust falling into bushes
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
