Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
