Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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