Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's like heaven, but drunker
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize