No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
