Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
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