you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
