omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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