he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
