9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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