yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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