I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
