That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
