their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize