You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
