I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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