Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
