he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize