My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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