i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
