I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
