He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Randomize
