Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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