I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
