I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
