Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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