508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
