I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
