I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
