Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
