STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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