I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and she was petting her beer can
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Actions speak louder than pants.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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