ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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