when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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