do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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