Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
