I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
