is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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